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Auntie Toomer

ISSUE 6 ARCHIVE - PAUL TOOMER, AGONY AUNT

Whatever your problem, Auntie Toomer is here to help you out...

Q: My buddy, and best mate, reckons oceanic white tip, but he is a muppet at heart really. I say tiger shark. So which is the most dangerous shark in the water?

Jonno
Ralf Tech
A: I am so glad you added the words in the water as I have a mate that is a bit of a shark, and I would much rather face down any shark than face him.

I did go diving with a lawyer once and he was pretty dangerous. I reckon that still doesn't cut it though does it?

So let's get to it. In the grand scheme of things, both of your fish are pretty high in the food chain, both being pelagic in every sense of the word. Like most sharks though, both these animals can be a pleasure to dive with. John Carlin from Aquatic Element in Windsor had a group out diving in the Southern Red Sea and they had the luck (Bastards!) to dive with several oceanics at one time. John did say that there were a few sphincter squinting moments though.

The tiger shark is becoming more common to dive with as well. In South Africa there are organised tiger dives on a daily basis. I dived with them with Scuba Addicts last year. It was awesome.

So in answer... Both of your fish are gay!

If you want your bum muscles to clench, free dive with a mako or a great white, just do a search on youtube for Michael Rutzen. He free dives with whites in Gansbaai, Cape Town and I can tell you now he is the most radical [expletive removed] I ever met. You have to see it to believe it.
If you've got a problem, and if we can find him, maybe you should email Auntie Toomer. You might also like to check out The Diving Matrix. 50 Reasons to Hate the French

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